Foreplay can often be written off as a bit of a waste of time - almost as a roadblock that comes between getting warmed up and finally getting it on. However, if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, try not to think of foreplay as just something to get over and done with before moving on to the main event. Not only can foreplay help extend your time to climax, it plays a huge role in women’s sexual satisfaction.
Women need foreplay to become aroused. It can take significantly longer to reach a point of arousal in which they’re ready to have sex - which can mean anywhere upwards of ten minutes dedicated to getting her feeling hot and heavy.
Foreplay should stimulate a variety of senses. Rather than just heading straight for her clitoris, use your imagination to tease the other sensitive parts of her body. If this is all sounding new to you, don’t sweat. We spoke to sex expert Vanessa Muradian for her tips on five great places to start for out-of-this-world foreplay.
MORE: What does she really care about in bed?
Her inner thigh
The inner thigh is an erogenous zone for many women. We’re talking a bundle of super-sensitive nerves tangled together like that box of AV cords you keep underneath the television. Even just softly stroking this area when she’s aroused will send ripples of excitement through her body.
“The inner thigh is the red carpet to the vulva and the vagina - you do not want to miss the inner thighs,” says Vanessa.
“If you haven’t touched the inner thighs in your session, I’d start with some grounding touch, where you grab and hold like you would at the start of a massage, then I’d moved to softer lighter touch, a great to place to bring in kissing, lips and tongue.”
Her breasts
A woman’s breasts and nipples are perhaps the second most sexual zone on her body. For some women, their nipples will be super sensitive and respond sexually to sucking, stroking, or even a very light bite.
“Breasts are wonderful creatures, remember to play and work with their breasts for their pleasure, not yours,” says Vanessa.
“What feels good to you may not feel good to them. I like to massage the whole breast, even play with side-boob with my finger-tips, before working toward her nipple, using the palm of my hand and then my mouth.”
Her neck
The nape of a woman’s neck is covered in the same type of skin as her face - being thinner and more sensitive than the rest of her body, it’s a great place for light kissing and stroking. Just keep your inner vampire hidden away - biting or sucking loses its appeal past the age of 16. No one wants to have to explain a hickey at work the next day.
“It’s always nice to start out more subtle, work out what she likes and go from there. You can make out with the neck like you would a mouth - just be sure to get the go-ahead from her along the way though.”
Her butt
When aroused, the entire muscle area surrounding her vagina is going to be fired up and ready for touch. Whilst inserting anything inside her anus might not be her thing, try a light massage on the butt cheeks, working your way down the leg and around to the inner thigh. Foreplay doesn’t all have to be about light stroking or kissing - a firm massage on her butt and inner thigh will also drive her wild.
“Ooh the ass!” says Vanessa.
“The ass can be a great one to work with, cupping the ass really softly, right where it meets the top of the leg, before you start to move it rhythmically up and down during penetration. Inclusive of the butt is her hips, just gripping and massaging around the hips with both soft and light touch can be amazing.
“Right at the tailbone, right at the beginning of your crack is the “K” spot (kundalini spot) – a great one to tap on during love-making.”
Her pubic bone
The area above the vagina is a great place to focus your attention. As she becomes more and more aroused, teasing her by kissing or stoking the skin close to - but not quite on - her vagina will really get her going.
“Put some pressure on the pubic mound,” says Vanessa. “It can add some great weight to vulva and vagina, massaging this area with different types of touch can get blood and energy following to the area.”
Each woman is built differently from the last, and will respond in varying ways to foreplay techniques. The important thing is to ask what they like, and let them guide you during foreplay.
