How long do women really want you to last in bed?

Alongside, ‘what happens in the Bermuda Triangle?’ and ‘who built Stonehenge?’ figuring out what women truly want in the bedroom can sometimes feel like the last great unsolved mystery.

Whilst this may shock you, the easiest way to find out what women what they like in the bedroom, is to ask them. So that’s exactly what we’ve done: we spoke to over 2,000 women about what they’re looking for in their sexual partner. Here are the five fast facts you need to know.

It’s the question we’ve all asked ourselves many times — how long does your partner really want to have sex for? Believing that they are preparing for hour-long sessions can often exacerbate our anxieties about coming too quickly.

Whilst there’s no hard or fast (or slow) rules for sex, our research has shown that the ideal duration of sex for women sits somewhere between ten to twenty minutes.

Before you panic, realise that this doesn’t necessarily mean twenty minutes of penetration. The act of sex can — and should — encompass so much more than the just In’N’Out. Foreplay is crucial to women becoming aroused when having sex, so clear your schedule: you’ll want to allow plenty of time for kissing, massage, oral sex, fingering, and all the other fun things that come before and after penetrative sex.

MORE: Ever considered role play?

#2: Longer sex is better sex — but it’s got to be good

This isn’t likely to come as a surprise, but women do prefer sex that lasts longer. If you are struggling to delay ejaculation, don’t let this spook you — there are plenty of methods you can work on to draw out your sexual experience.

Our research found that duration is an important element to the female sexual experience, particularly when it comes to allowing time to properly enjoy the moment. Sure, a quickie in the back seat can be awesome sometimes, but if you’re getting into the habit of being dressed, undressed, and dressed again under five minutes? It’s time to make some changes.

#3: Quality over quantity

Having sex for a long time means you’re having great sex, right? Not quite. The overwhelming majority of women surveyed agreed that they cared far more about the quality of the sex rather than the duration.

So, what does this mean for you? Regular communication during sex to gauge their reaction is really important. Don’t be asking every five minutes — that’s a mood killer — but if you sense they are pulling away physically or not reciprocating, try a new move. Ask them what they feel like doing.

Good quality sex is about communication, so make it part of your habit in the bedroom to be attentive and aware of how she’s feeling.

#4: You’ll need to warm the car up first

Hey, you know what’s a mood killer? Cold hands. You know what’s a real mood killer? A guy trying to jam his D into his partner when she hasn’t even got her shoes off yet. If there’s one golden rule to seriously good sex, it’s focusing on the foreplay.

The women who responded to our survey said that they cared most about the other elements of sex, like foreplay or head, as opposed to worrying about how long the actual sex lasts. Instead of focusing your energies into the act of sex, ask yourself how imaginative or attentive you’re being to the lead up.

For a woman, getting her aroused isn’t just about putting your foot on the accelerator — you’ll need to warm the car up first. Try dirty talk, telling her what you would like to do, or teasing her by touching her everywhere but her vagina. Slow and sensual massage can also be a good intro into touching or rubbing her —- and don’t feel spooked if she starts to guide you. Just follow her lead.

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#5: Control leads to confidence

Most women can sense hesitation — and whilst almost all women will want to make sure you’re comfortable, there’s also a point that they will want to be cared for, too.

Feeling in control of your performance, or being able to delay ejaculation, is going to bring you confidence. Our research showed that one third of respondents wished their partner had more control over how long they lasted. And little surprise — when you’re feeling good about yourself, she’s going to notice. Forget oysters or Old Spice — confidence and control is the best aphrodisiac.

Don’t let the unknown scare you off. Ask questions, be curious, and for goodness sake, don’t whip out a survey in the bedroom. Leave that part to us. If you want to take back some control from your dick, find out more about Prolong — the only FDA cleared climax control training device and program on the market. Trust us, it will change your life.

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