How to have better sex

Having better sex means breaking free of old habits, and having the confidence to try out new moves. Whether it’s some fluffy handcuffs or simply switching up the location, the power to spice things up is limited only by your imagination.

The secret to hotter, longer lasting sex is all about combining different techniques to figure out what works for you and your partner. Great sex is going to mean many different things to different people - so don’t be afraid to experiment.

Here are five easy places to start.

#1: Talk about your fantasies

If the idea of revealing your weird sexual fantasies makes your toes curl, relax. Everyone who walks this planet has some kind of strange fantasy.

Whether you’re in a long term relationship or having sex on a casual basis, talking about your sexual fantasies with your bedmate can open up a whole new world of experiences. It taps into your imagination and activates deeply held concepts of what turns you on.

Creating a safe space to discuss this with your sexual partner is important. For some, just talking about your fantasy will be enough to get things going. For others, you might want to step it up a level into roleplay, props, or dirty talk during sex.

The important thing to remember is that respect underpins this whole experience - it’s meant to be fun (and giggling is often unavoidable), but laughing or mocking a partner is going to seriously kill the mood.

MORE: Interested in giving role play a try? Learn more here.

#2: Take sex outside of the bedroom

Location, location, location! We could deep dive into the psychology behind doing it outdoors, but the fact remains - it’s hot. There’s something about the risk of being caught that gets the blood pumping. Of course, getting down and dirty en plein air could be a step too far for many couples, so here are some entry-level suggestions.

Firstly, consider your own home. For most couples, sex happens exclusively in bed - so why not try on your kitchen bench for size? Or, spin your partner around as soon as you step in the house and try it against your front door? You might be surprised how sexy a new location inside your own home can be.

For the more adventurous, the world is your oyster. However, being selective about finding a location out of public view is really important - the risk of being seen is one thing, but actually being seen and reported is another. Try going for a drive to a hidden location or lookout, or take a detour off a walking track in a national park. Just keep your eye out for anything with claws.

#3: Make foreplay part of the fun

For both women and men, being highly aroused is going to mean better, wetter, hotter sex. If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, be aware that your path to great sex is going to be a little different to women. Men can sometimes switch onto autopilot: once erect, they’re ready to go. But for women, it can take up to half an hour of foreplay before they are ready to have sex.

Foreplay is a great way to extend the sexual experience without worrying if you are going to come too quickly. Try deep kissing to begin with, and make your way to rubbing her clitoris or going down on her. Figure out what you enjoy, too. A slow and sensual hand job might be what turns you on, or slow it down to a long massage that works their way up to your penis.

Keep the conversation open with your partner during foreplay. Ask them what feels good, and what they like. You might both be a little shy at first, but you’ll be requesting ice-cube-blow-jobs before you know it.

MORE: Welcome to Foreplay 101.

#4: Feel confident as the leader

Taking control in the bedroom can be pretty intimidating - will they laugh? What if they don’t like the position? Can you work harder to make them feel comfortable?

Confidence in bed is sexy. Taking the lead not only gives your partner the chance to relax and be guided, it gives you an opportunity to show off. Once you’re sure your partner is in the mood, make your way through your favourite positions - we can guarantee that if you’re having a good time, they’ll be feeling pretty inspired, too.

You could even try out some dominance/submission moves. We’re not suggesting you go all the way with leather harnesses and gimp suits, but why not try out some soft-play handcuffs, or light bondage? Feeling completely ‘submissive’ can be a real turn on - and so can being the boss. Just make sure you have that safe word sorted before the whips come out.

#5: Reduce stress 😊🍆

The number one killer of great sex is stress. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways: stress about what to say, how to move, or whether or not you will last long enough. It might be stress about your environment, your home, or your work. Whatever it is, you need to create a space that feels relaxed, and enjoyable.

The fear of coming too quickly haunts a lot of men - it feels embarrassing, and out of your control. But rather than avoiding the topic, it’s time to tackle it head on. Finding enduring techniques that connect your mind with your penis is going to be the solution to lasting longer and reducing your stress about sex.

Prolong Control Training is here to help. Prolong is the only FDA cleared climax control training device in market and in clinical studies, men who continued with using the device and the control training program had an average increase in time to ejaculation of 3 minutes. Results start from week one, and when you take back control, you will regain your confidence.

MORE: Ready to take back control of your 🍆? Start here.

Better sex is going to look different to every man reading this. For some of you, it’s about creating sexual experiences that previously only existed for you via RedTube. For others, it’s just about getting over the line without having a thousand crippling anxieties.

Give yourself the space and time to learn about what works for you, and what you want to work on yourself. Be confident, be brave, and above all, have faith in yourself.