Sexpectations vs reality

Who doesn’t enjoy the odd wild fantasy? It might involve a current partner on the hood of a fast car, an anonymous encounter with that girl or guy at the coffee shop or a quickie in an airplane bathroom — it’s all in the name of good, clean fun. These visualizations help keep our imaginations active and interested, which is good for the libido.

But the truth is, sometimes they are better left in fantasy-land. So many of the sexy scenarios we think about — or see in the movies — aren’t so great in real life. A few examples come to mind:

Food + sex

THE FANTASY

The classic fantasy is the food scene in the movie 9-1/2 Weeks. There’s a lot of laughter and sexy flicks of the tongue as Mickey Rourke pours honey into Kim Basinger’s mouth.

THE REALITY

There could still be a lot of laughter, but that will likely come with sticky hair, sticky hands, messy sheets and a lot of clean up after. Nobody wants ants in the bedroom, after all.

The beach

THE FANTASY

This is the ultimate for romantics. The waves are crashing against your naked bodies as you roll across the sand, and there’s a perfect sunset in the background.

THE REALITY

Sand is getting everywhere (everywhere), the water’s cold and you both end up with bits of stinky seaweed stuck to your skin and tangled in your hair. Not to mention the chance of somebody seeing you, or losing your underwear in the rising tide.

MORE: Quick off the draw? What to do if your partner's premature.

The hot tub

THE FANTASY

It’s hot, steamy and all your worries wash away. You sexily slink out of your suits and do it up against the edge of the hot tub while the water bubbles away.

THE REALITY

Having sex in water is nearly always disappointing. Water washes away the body’s natural lubrication, and the added friction can make things a bit uncomfortable. Plus, let’s face it: Hot tub sex isn’t exactly the most sanitary activity.

The kitchen

THE FANTASY

You’re doing the dishes, they come up from behind start kissing your neck. The next thing you know, the dishes are forgotten and you’re blissfully going at it while deftly leaning against the kitchen counter.

THE REALITY

If you’ve tried this at home, you probably know that the kitchen counter needs a good wipe-down first, and the dirty dishes that have been sitting there overnight are more than a little bit distracting.

The airplane

THE FANTASY

The cabin lights have dimmed and you and the hotter-than-hell flight attendant get busy in the galley without anyone noticing. Mile High Club status achieved!

THE REALITY

The tiny, cramped airplane bathroom is pretty much the only place to pull this off without getting arrested. Between the gross smell, the toilet paper on the floor, and the door that opens inwards, this is a fantasy that should remain just that. Never mind the fact that fitting two people in that space is next to impossible.

While driving

THE FANTASY

You’re on your way somewhere in the car and can’t keep your hands off each other any longer. While your partner keeps his eyes on the road, you give him some special attention under the hood.

THE REALITY

You and your partner end up giving a show to the creepy truck drivers passing by. Plus, you nearly cause a 10-car pileup when things get a little too hot. A better idea? Just pull over, get each other off and live to tell the tale.

All-night-long sex

THE FANTASY

Having sex until dawn is the subject of countless songs and movie scenes. Porn makes it look completely normal — and hot!

THE REALITY

Most sex lasts a few minutes between penetration and ejaculation. And even if it was physically possible to keep it up all night, who has that kind of energy? Some of us have to work in the morning!

If you are looking to extend your time together, there are options. You might consider Prolong, which is a device that’s designed for men who want to last longer during sex. Prolong comes with an easy six week climax control training program. When you spend just 30 minutes each week for six weeks, you’ll start seeing results within the first week. Interested? Find out more about Prolong, and see if it’s right for you. There are no pills to buy and no numbing agents to kill your pleasure.